T J Gristwood tells Frank how embracing the wise woman can empower our lives.
The Triple Goddess or ‘Maiden, Mother, Crone’ depicts the incredible transition through a woman’s life and is celebrated as significant rites of passage in pagan practice.
She is the female counterpart to the Horned God, providing balance to the male essence.
In Greek mythology ‘Cronehood’ was given to the women that embraced the label of ‘Crone’. Instead of hiding in the dark, they proudly celebrated the later years of their lives with a vibrant, sensual, confident charisma, etched with a generous dose of wisdom and strength.
But for many of us in this modern world of ‘I am Woman hear me roar’ the mention of such pagan mumbo jumbo is swiftly swept into the bin like last night’s leftovers when we think about facing our future as a mature woman.
It’s often a case of ‘just getting on with it the best we can’, while juggling a million plates and hoping for the best.
Before you continue to do just that, I would encourage women struggling with the ‘it’s all over, I’m getting old’ scenario to take a moment to rediscover these rites of passage. Especially the role of the Crone or ‘Wise Woman’ if this description sits better and sounds less like you are about to turn into one of the witches from Macbeth.
Our world has changed and so must we. We must visualise our future in a positive and loving way. Stepping into the role of Crone is a time of both celebration and of letting go.
Instead of looking back on our days as the vibrant, blissfully naïve Maiden with the world at our fingertips, and the nurturing Mother who gave all she had to serve her children and others with a sense of sadness and loss, I ask that you merely reflect on these moments as part of the incredible journey that made you who you are today.
Older. Wiser. Beautiful. Powerful.
Women have been feared and supressed for thousands of years. And for good reason. We kick ass and we do it with love and a strength of mind that is incredible and unrivalled by our fellow men. But the transition for many women from the first two stages of our lives into our final role as Crone is often difficult.
From the constant programming and brainwashing we are given to condition us from birth, to the images we see and the voices we hear in the media, it’s no wonder many women are confused, conflicted and essentially miserable at the thought of becoming older.
They grieve the loss of their once trim figure or wrinkle free face and fear no longer being needed by their growing children, or the world in general.
They resist the changes in their body and mind and become depressed or physically unwell. Or they pretend it’s not happening, continue driving their vehicle in life like a Ferrari and blow the head gasket!
But our ancestors, the women that understood each role in a woman’s life should be cherished and then released with love, were eager to step into the role of Crone.
They knew that as we move away from the roles of the enthusiastic Maiden and selfless Mother to the final chapter of our lives, they could slow down, take stock, and reap the rewards of all they had learned along the way.
When we make peace with ourselves, love ourselves completely, and forgive ourselves for all our ‘mistakes’, our energy shifts. We can look in the mirror and see every wrinkle as a part of the journey that brought us to where we now stand. We can stop trying to compete with the younger women who still have their own journey to fulfil. Or keep giving selflessly to the point of exhaustion as we once did.
We can rest. Be at peace. With a very smug smile on our faces.
To be Crone is to be wise and powerful. She holds all the answers. She has made incredible sacrifices and seen great joy and immense sadness. She has felt both physical and emotional pain on every level and survived.
Her connection to her higher self is strong and she holds magic in the palms of her hands. She speaks with conviction and with love. She has made strong, healthy boundaries in her life and relationships. She has earned the right to stand tall and move with a graceful elegance towards her throne, where she can lounge like Cleopatra receiving the respect and honour she deserves.
So I ask all the beautiful women still floundering in the ocean of confusion, frustration and sadness to rise above the water with your head held high and remember these rites of passage.
Remember who you were, who you have become, and who you will be in the future. Take care of your physical body, take care of your thoughts and emotions with love and tenderness. You have worked hard to reach this pivotal point in your life. Do not grieve or become angry. Dance with joy that you have succeeded in becoming a woman with stature, a woman with knowledge and influence.
Embrace and absorb this incredible power.
You are beautiful, strong, and wise. You are the Queen of your castle.
And you need to make damn sure everyone knows it.
With Love and Fairy Blessings.
T J Gristwood is the author of Perfect Twist, a love story made for three.
Follow TJ Gristwood on Instagram here.